The Blasted One victimised me today... i feel like a wounded animal... beaten but not dead... i know a little jest will not do harm but certainly it was not a day i could bear patiently with it... so i gave a cold snap... its not his fault that i was in a mood... but considering the previous postings... i am not angry with him or anyone nor for any teasing or diaoing but my patience has left me ever since i wrote that post... everything i see hear or look has a certain symbolism to it... makes me start hallucinating and thinking about all sorts of nonsensical stuff... thus when he tried to be jovial today... i simply snapped... how to act cool when there is an axe to grind... anyway i will not be in any mood for the next few days... it still reverberates in my mind... all the time... that's why i posted the song... it was the first chinese song that caught my mind... i was fixated with it for like 2 years... cos it had that melancholic tone to it that especially the first line of the chorus... in the rainy night... how i wish the beautiful dream will not end... who can reverse the wheels of time... thus the story must go on... even if the rain never stops... sigh... i was given a cold shoulder... i guess i deserved it too... not to happy about it but its time to cool off... i guess that no one wins but well maybe its time to launch into another lesson of life...

I will now say this... if one knows that one is in love with another... others are not blind... do not chide them for their ignorance and their false excuses to give one privacy and further more do not chide them for alienation... the boundaries are different and one cannot behave the same way to a friend as to an intimate thus friends tend to leave as they themselves are uncomfortable... even if one may not be so... if one dares to love... be open about it for the more denial is there... the more pain it gets... after all its no illict thing nor is it illegal for one to fall in love... so why the constrained look when probes are uttered... if one really feels the heartstrings being pulled do not resist and follow one's heart... throw away any stereotype or nonsense of one being not able to love another cos of physical flaws or characteristics or stupid rumours... Love is blind but love is equal... love gives everyone the chance to realise beyond the physical shades of beauty and look within and find the golden warmth that truly attracts... from personal experience i can share that i did like somebody before but i never did say... cos it would have been disastrous to sunder our friendship if any unhappiness arose and thus this caused me great pain but i managed to tide it over... looking back i realised that it was not outward attributes that drew me to her but it was the sincerity and warmth that won me over... love is blind but love is true to the heart...

I got scolded today for being to noisy in lecture... damn that bastard... all the whole holiday just see him go library to mug one... no lifer... if he got no where else to sit don bother me by insisting that i keep quiet right? you chose to sit in that spot so i quote " as in rome do as the romans do" which means keep your foul trap shut... bloody hell of a fucker... kknbccb... he stupid lecture notes so easy and obvious kindergarten also can understand... the lecturer isn't exactly adding copious amounts of words to what is there in the notes so go to hell you SOB... may you be cursed for eternity to remain a no lifer... idiot... scum


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