ok this is just some stupid musings before CA 9 which is like tm and i cant seem to get anything into my head at the moment so im sort of taking a break which i have started from 4pm...

firstly, a happy birthday to someone, you know who you are, my birthday present for you is just an apology for not being as good a friend, i can never really be a good friend to anybody as i know my limitations.

to those who think that cupid has fired an arrow, reconsider your decision before i fire my own.

secondly, i want to rant. I am stupid and ugly and poor. all of you will most probably reel in shock at this stupendous statement but whatever i have said is true. I often go around calling people Genius but it is with a basis of truth that i call them geniuses. Some of course are the academic elite, do i actually have to list out their names? i can never imagine how inferior i am compared to them, just look at the genetics quiz, CAs and all the rest of the time. I am the person going around asking questions and not being able to answer them. why do people think that i am smart? I am NOT. you all don understand that i sit there hearing you all solve every problem with such consummate ease and dexterity that i believe that you all are so much superior. Secondly there are the sports people, you know who you are. I am a fat bastard thus i admire their training and everything but i can only wish i could be like them but that is a dream that has faded into obscurity as i grow older. A subclass to this group are the people who keep themselves fit be it daily, weekly or whatever routine they stick to. They earn a lot of my respect as i admire their diligence and habit. i feel so awed and respectful and yes envious and jealous. I am so flawed. the 3rd class of people i admire are those that have good looks, which are not few. I think the title of the blog expresses one of my deepest insecurities and which is quite plainly obvious looking at every photo that im in. the 4th estate are social creatures that i make friends with have so many wondrous qualities that i the ever tactless, rude, insensitive, inconsiderate moron will never be able to obtain and they are geniuses in their own right. The 5th class is those that are rich, i feel a moat of affluence surrounding my castle of poverty, i just feel so lost that i am so dao mei. the 6th class are my friends themselves, they have done everything a friend should and can do but i have not been able to reciprocate nor appreciate their presence and i feel like a bastard. and the 7th class of people are those that have in some way or another touched me w their sensibilities and maturity as im forever lost in my childish desert and i need guidance. why am i so flawed? i hate life! i really hate it!!!!!! it is so unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can i die? so that i can get some peace and not face the world of which i am an unworthy citizen of?

if you think this is a joke, go and die.


|