ok this must be en extremely rare occurence but im suffering from my latest bout of happiness and it has lasted 1 week already... its so rare to get such an affliction but maybe due to the upcoming events that are in mind thus im feeling happy...

sorry no updates for the prev days as my energy levels were below zero... walking like a zombie around NUS... ARGH!!! 6 weeks how to study all of M1... die already... seeing chaos, lardy. qy. ly, lormee, splat, enil and many others mugging so hard there is an indescribable feeling of guilt and futility that passes through my mind... i mean im not sad but i look at the intelligence level of my peers and sometimes i wonder y am i mixing w these superior beings? seriously not being sarcastic here but i have witnessed my own mental and academic degradation since who knows when and im sure that my abilities are not what they used to be... I AM AN IDIOT!

on monday there was not anything of particular note except unbloggable stuff... not that it cannot beseen or read but sometimes the nature of the content is time sensitive... only after a while then i can reveal its contents... anyway i went for prelab w voon n gopal n i felt terribly guilty over something which i did and made up for it... thats y sometimes i cant decide which should i be... a jerk? or a gentleman? my fun loving spirit causes me to sometimes forget bout my responsibilities n sometimes i would prefer to stay in the company of friends than to go for lectures or lessons... its a very murky conflict btw what i should do and what i want to do... anyway went for lab at like 4.20pm due to some forgetfulness and time-sensitive issues... saw the feeding frenzy that was titled homage to the 3 aka testosterone... went back homw and started on something that i have never done before... that is to get a life.

anyway tuesday was a rather fast day cos it was so boring... stupid lectures coupled w boring pbl made me so xian... somebody was also roughing up my mood about distance.... anyway i was being particularly level-headed that day... so nothing interesting happened ( all of you out there are so voyeuristic... waiting for me to erupt ) so we went and ate like pigs at lido before chilling out at CBTL at borders... got a nice card from a Shui Jing... n got shot in the mouth by Xian Qing... not using a gun but by his dislocated mandible... anyway for the record im still single and will remain single until i feel lucky... cos whatever i did was not a reflection of the future but a reminiscence of the past... anyway went back home to sleep and sleep somemore... i have so many things on my mind so tired dunno what to write.

now to clarify a few issues that i have left dangling in mid air... first of all i actually do not do the actual testing of my friends... or friends-to-be... things occur to people all the time and i merely observe their response to it and gather the various information from other sources to analyse the proper context and the response... i have not instituted a test on anyone... i just observe silently and just like when u are watching a movie... you let the story move on... you do not cry halt nor do you interfere... after that you make your own reviews and comments... sometimes i admit that i blast others for pleasure and entertainment... but nowadays it is rare as i can't be bothered w others after i have adopted my new live and let live mantra... if you suck to eternity no amount of help will be able to help you... so i will not persist in haemorrhaging you for nothing... there is no more sadistic pleasure in that... its getting boring... i would now adopt the 3rd person outlook... instead of preventing the fall, cure the victim after the fall. Why do i say this? cos sometimes people are just to stubborn and no amount of advice will prevent them from falling if they refuse to listen so ill just give a warning and let them choose, if they don heed it, i will not insist but i will wait till they have learnt their lesson before coming into the picture... its a lot easier when others see the light of your actions but some are just plain stupid.

ok to satisfy curiosity... i can announce that most of the people i know are B3 or B4... A2 would require a long standing friendship or often interaction... and A1 is only possilbe after like a few major quarrels and disagreements... i cannot list names as it is too arbitrary but i can say that i don even talk to failures... anyway it is not without fear and pressure that i try not to confrom... after all it is a false sense of freedom... i quote from an internal Medsoc email:

There are two freedoms -- the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought. --Charles Kingsley

it is a fallacy that sometimes i seem to rebel... not that it does any good to anyone but it just inspires the James Dean in me... to rebel against everything including my lot in life... but im not so pro and people do get hurt sometimes... this statement below is a spoof of something from LOTR but it resembles me...

i gave patience to the world, i left none for myself

its just so uncomfortable being nice, i mean its so fake... how can somebody be nice all the time... its not real... sometimes im too serious for my own good... i mean i look like the terminator in the class party photos what a joke... my sense of humour is rather non existent... so are my dietary habits... but in anycase i have just realised the power of my mind and i wanna learn more about how to control it... so fun to be able to harness more than 1% of your brains capacity... to do other things not just mug...

anyway the quirk of the day... I LOVE PRADA

until next time, enjoy this post... comment at will...


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