I guess when i post something, most of you would think that i have as usual made a huge hoohah over something so small and petty that it becomes much ado about nothing. Today was such an eventful day. Not busy but eventful. It was quite a relaxing day and sojourn into the gym, and then a CS session with the rest of the guys before heading to chill out at Gelare. Nothing to buy as usual cos my wallet is feeling rather empty of late and i have certain things that i intend to get soon. Like a shirt for $13 debating over its appeal.

Friends are such complicated animals. They make you happy yet sad, angry yet glad. I guess today was a day of mixed feelings. I'm not in a mood to bitch but more to ponder and reflect. Is it time to move on? I really don't know nor do i want to know. Has it reached a stage of maturity that it is no longer necessary to maintain it all the time? I can honestly say that being confided in is not a very nice thing as it pains you to know that such things exists and you wonder. Is everybody as happy as they look? What is the meaning of life is everybody puts on a happy face to hide their unhappiness. I'm unhappy today cos its not the big matters that make me unhappy but the small matters. And i didn't appreciate something that happened today. Not that I'm petty but i feel that if i tell you something confidential, you should respect my confidentiality

Am I a big mouth? I guess many people will answer yes to this question. But i haven't really been talking a lot lately as there is simply nothing to talk about? I sort of pondered upon this topic when somebody mentioned it today. What makes a big mouth? Is it somebody who chooses to entertain with other people's lives and tales or is it just plain disrespect and insensitivity to others? Will secrets every be safe once they are shared? I don't know but sometimes i pre-empt a lot of things from happening as I am aware of the situation. Like diverting conversations and hinting in not so subtle ways. Do i even need to be so cautious even in the presence of friends? of which one who's mouth is big? Not angry here but terribly disappointed. I respond tit for tat and it makes a good show and a good laugh. And it always ends up that i can only bark and cannot bite. Why do you want to know if i can bite? isn't barking an accurate indication that im near biting point? Pun not intended. The reason i don't bite is because i still treat you as a friend and you're taking me to my limits. Consideration is lacking. T.X.K.

Administrative Work has begun to take its toll on me. I am feeling so lost in the piles of work i have to do and i simply don't feel like doing it. Not that its very tedious or revolting but its mentally draining. I know i am quite good at admin stuff but I'm not in the mood for it.

Discipline. I need discipline. I am not disciplined enough. sigh. A lot of hopes have been destroyed thus i can only make new ones

I'm just a bit exhausted and fed up about life now. sorry for the lenghty complaints but i can really find nothing to gush about. I don't exactly have a happy blog so i apologise for all the seriousness in my life. To me, joy is wordless. It can only be experienced never written about.

May GOD bless me and grant me my wish. A wish that i have had for a very long time. A wish shared by many experienced by few. Please give me the courage and let hope fill my heart and enrich it with energy to allow me to persist and pursue.



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