Today was a bit crazy. I went out at like 8 am... to bishan to meet up with half of the scum to go to the gym. Yes we were going there on a book carrying exercise. In view of the increased number of textbooks we will need for the coming years we have decided to work out to improve our book lugging skills. unfortunately my g unit was not around. today was a weird day... haven't really gotten around to reading the berlin stories... i feel so inspired by today. at mph i saw a few books that have excited me. Plutarch's Selected Lives of Greeks and Romans and Joanna Bourke's An Intimate history of Killing. I shall go read them soon maybe tomorrow at the bookstore itself. I bought a book today which i intend to keep and i have already decided on next weeks shopping list. Was at watson's today and i realised that i needed a lot of things from there but i will kepp my wallet high and dry. Hope!!! must remember to tell me when ur going malaysia. I have been listening to my latest CD... 10 years of Dance. And my track of the moment is Good Feelin' by DJ Flex featuring Ken Norris. It reminds me of a time when i used to like the sounds of jamiroquai. kylie's number one tho... Gloria Gaynor is so wondrous as a dance queen. her songs weave the words retro all around her... Like First be a Woman and I will Survive. I wanted to post something serious today as i was pondering it for a long time... and i mean a long time... another of those wondrously stupid zany stuff that people won't bother reading cos its too dense...

How do people classify their friends? Work-related? Companionship? Fun-Loving? Confidante?
Can we all divide our friends into 2 broad categories that are totally different? Friends for Fun? Friends for Work?
Friends who i can talk serious stuff to? Friends who i can talk silly stuff to? Friends for the moment? Friends for lifetime? Was pondering about it cos of what somebody said to me. Who can you consider a friend indeed when the going isn't tough and the road isn't rough. Will old friendships ever last?

I am at the moment both a third party observer and a first person player in such situations. Thus i'm now writing as objectively as possible. I don't know if saying this is stupid but i feel that a certain somebody who accuses me of not growing up is the person who hasn't grown up at all. He is playing petty tantrums with me and I don't find it amusing as it was not my fault at all. I am stuck in the middle and i refuse to budge cos its childish. let's put it this way, i put in a lot more maintenance in that friendship but sometimes i feel that less is more. Maybe he is jealous of me or something but i don't know and don't care. If jealousy is how you feel towards an old friend who has apparently 'betrayed' you by disrupting, making friends with others and all the rest of the stuff that you are unhappy about, i don't know what i can do to resolve this. This is my life. I make friends with whoever i want and whoever i choose... And if you refuse to listen to my advice i also have nothing to say. Maybe my principles and values have changed... and i think it is for the better. Its my life and i cannot change it to your whim, If you are so unhappy with me then maybe we should cool it. I don't know how to make you happy and like the friend you oncve were anymore. You seem so distant and rightfully it should be so. we belong to different worlds now and its very hard to reconcile. What can i do? I didn't choose it to be so. neither did you and why do you blame me for it? Do i not preserve the right to have fun with other people? If you think i am like before, im sorry times have changed and so have people.

This is what i call the OCS-Sispec mentality vs the-rest-of-SAF mentality. Its not restricted to OCS and Sispec only but its a generalisation of the majority of the people who share this view. The-rest-of-the-SAF people doesn't mean the non OCS & Sispec people but generally those who are not from those places tend to promote this ideology. The OCS-Sispec people have a different way of looking at things which are definitely healthier as compared to the-rest-of-the-SAF. Its just a matter of upbringing or maybe conditioning in this case. OCS-Sispec makes you think about others, other than yourself, and viewing the world through not so tinted lenses. the-rest-of-the-SAF is mainly the Chao Keng, cynical and Serve & F*** off mentality. I can't really say which side i belong to as i am ambivalent. I know how it feels to be on both sides of the war thus i'm a double agent. If generosity and forgiveness is not a concept you hold dear then most probably you don come from OCS or sispec... I think my analogy sounds weird but to those who understand you will realise why i am saying this. at the moment my friend and i share different viewpoints. his hasn't changed. My has. I don't really know what i can do but all i can say now is thanks to all the friends that have shown me the light and converted me to the other side. Its a lot better to have less cynicism with respect to the world. I used to be very cynical, now less and hopefully its receding. I'm very bad at perceiving things thus i think i was a fool not to see it coming... sometimes u pull the wool over your own eyes. I just realised that i have a lot of readers to my blog... so weird. I would prefer less attention sometimes. Its quite a personal space after all. Have been going on a blog voyage lately... leaving footprints over other people's blogs. Today not depressing enough to sound serious so i shall head back into my disco world and will re-comment on the stuff mentioned above another day.

Music is givin' me good good feelin'... groovy...


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