I had so many meetings today. Its such a tiring affair to rack my brains to come out with suggestions and ideas to fit into everybody's plans and operating framework. I have to sacrifice personal affairs for professionalism. I missed my outing with the scum today. No CS for me today. Today is really a day where i had to make the decision to be professional and objective, instead of personal and subjective.

I wonder how long my self-control can go despite the recent trauma. I am wearing thin at this ridiculous situation i am in. Its seems like a huge joke and yet a huge irritation. I really do not know if i should continue what I am doing despite the risk of personal injury and even death. Its really hard inside to prevent the anger and the need for self-protection from rearing its ugly head.

Does familiarity really breed contempt? I wonder deep in my heart and ponder. Somehow or another we haven't been talking often and now i wonder if its better for a friend to remain an acquaintance or a confidante. I don't really know why you have refused my help but you should know that I am your friend. I hope you feel the same way too.


|