as i step into the gates of hwa chong, a feeling of vastness strikes me. the campus seems huge; the buildings seem spacious, open, and roomy. the grey stone tiles and beige painted walls exude warmth. the brown blazers somehow make the councillors seem friendlier. somehow, i feel at home. yet, i know no one in the school. i see only a sea of unfamiliar faces. i'm here only because my brother's getting an award.

the atmosphere is in stark contrast to that in rj. somehow, one gets a rather cramped feeling when one walks through rj's gates. the low walls, the many trees surrounding the campus are unlike the high ceilings and open spaces you see in hc. the whitewashed walls are cold and striking, and the dull concrete walkways are uninspiring. i guess hc -is- actually bigger. but one can't deny the effect, however subtle these details can have on one's mood. perhaps then, it is why my mom thinks that hc is a more warm place. perhaps then, that is why people in rj are so competitive. maybe i'm jumping to conclusions, but who knows?

and as the valedictorian recollects about his dilemma to choose between rj and hc for a jc education, i wonder: should i have gone to hc? it's too late for thoughts like these now. but one thing i know for sure: i had a great time at rj - i have had many valuable opportunities, wonderful experiences and made good friends. all these, i will treasure. and i have no regrets. that's all that matters.

- St. james' Park


Its been so long since i have actually been reunited with a lot of my old friends and in hindsight its too late to actually think about RJ OR HC. I could say that i wanted to go HC cos i wanted a change in my schooling environment. But RJ wasn't happy. It was bittersweet. I learnt many things in RJ, both sweet and bitter. The highs and lows of my 2 years there could easily fill a book or a blog for that matter and until now the memories are hard to forget as they are sugar tempered with gall. I can only look back and say i grew up during that period. You could ask many people what i was like back in JC. Some huge sulk i must say. I was unhappy and happy as i experienced the extremes of both worlds. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my support group for helping me in my time of need. Its very hard sometimes to actually cope with such things by myself and well, even though you all might attribute my success in overcoming my own difficulties to me, i would give most of the credit to you as i wouldn't have been able to face up to whatever i had to if i didn't know that you were behind me and egging and nagging me all along. You could say of all the wonderful opportunities and memorable experiences that were in JC and NS, i enjoyed your company the most. Well, if only life wasn't so cruel we all could be in medfac together but i guess fate has different things in store for all of us, be it voluntarily or involuntarily. Well, we better treasure the remaining months that we have together before all of us start flying off to other places for education etc.

I have to thank to people, ying and avaris for being highly patient with me and listening to me when i was feeling down. I feel much better now with this pressure release. I hope you can give me honest feedback cos sometimes i tend to be a little to caught up in my own world till i cannot view the outside. im sorry to trouble you especially with that highly shocking post of mine. It was a bolt from the blue and sometimes the warning signs are there when i seem to be teethering on the edge. its very hard to keep things inside for a few months i guess. And it help when people are willing to listen. Instead of giving condescending comments that proclaim maganamity with every syllable. Its quite presumptious to assume innocence and throw on me the mantle of pettiness. If that's the case, i would think of you as chauvinistic and insensitive. It's quite brave of you to stand there at let me shoot. How courageous. how noble. How glorified. How manly. Will that make your manhood bigger? Shall inky teapots fly at your face, or do you prefer lemon meringues. Your actions? Do they account for anything other than the stale air which you exhale ever so often. Empty vessels make the most noise and don't accuse me of calling you black. Who does most of the empty boasting at times, not withstanding verbal diarrhoea. Inability to sometimes keep certain things quiet. Its a gross disrespect that you expect me to shush when you decide on impulse to let fly certain things that i trust in your confidence. Must i wear a skirt? If you wish to live in the ancient times then move back to your kampung. Trust is severely lacking. Im not the only person who thinks you have a loose tongue and maybe you think the same way of me but my tongue is not that loose. If respect is lacking, its cos there is too much apprehension and distrust. If you still don't get my drift, then maybe go back to europe to find your brain, it must be in some girl's room. This is my shot. So eat it. If you remembered what you use to say and look back at your actions, this wouldn't have happened. So don't slight me cos what im doing now is in perfect reasoning with what you just quoted. Unlike yours. If i have to say the word, its hypocrite. Keep your word if you expect me to keep mine. You like being fair don't you, so i will exact the same demand from you that you expect of other people. You want to be a gentleman don't you, it takes more than just treating girls well to be one so wise up. Sorry that i have to say this. I just have to clear out some of the residual leftovers. If i had a choice i would have chosen to say it in more politely.

I took the good times. I'll take the bad times. I take you just the way you are.



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