I don't know how many of you can understand this current situation that i was face with today. momo handed me a hymn book! ARGH. I'm so stressed now! I am now faced with the unenviable task of providing music during the welcome mass for Catholic Medical Society. Not to mention that I have to maintain the board, prepare a prayer session for next week and am not the de facto 3rd in command of CMS of which i barely featured in last year. ARGH.

Worse of all chor's piano is not tuned for ages and i don't know how am i going to find the time to practice and form the chords and musical stuff for the hymns! I don't know why i am so willing to take such an assignment! I have absolutely zero experience in doing such stuff... I don't strum the strings like the guitar maestro Splat nor do i have experience leading prayer sessions like Ruinous Blue. And worse of all. why is it that for some unknown reason or another i actually actively partake in such activities? The last time i vaguely had some sort of a religious revival was in Sec 2 where i mainly read the bible from page to page. momo must be either very convincing or pretty or something else is forcing me to relinquish all resistance and surrender myself to serve the person above.

I don't know. I have never felt so stressed and so willing to take part in such stuff before. It may be something divine that has happened. I don't know why but if there was any opportunity during our europe trip, i would dash into a church to say prayer. I bought like zillions of religious items, pouring and fretting over them worse than the normal way i shop. I don't know what's happening but i believe its someone up there who is pulling the strings. This sort of happened after a night spent over in deep reflection. I don't know why but i always find peace in a church. Its deep overwhelming sense of solemnity yet at the same time its a place of sanctuary.

I always love september. Cos that's when Novena Church puts up scaffolding to support its flower displays and they are so beautiful and they are so loving. I always make it a point to go there with my grandparents. That was the first time i saw a church so beautiful and fell in love with flowers. It was the first time i could sit still and gaze in awe and pray in peace and i have always found peace whenever i return there. Not that other catholic churches don't fulfil the spiritualism in me but they have never ever supplanted Novena Church in my heart.

Digressed here but back to the topic at hand. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!!! I am almost pulling my hair out now to prevent them from all turning white. I am so stressed. I want to do a good job. Make that a very good job. I am now flipping through the hymns and finding it so tough to choose. There are so many songs i like and i don't want to choose common stuff cos i'm afraid it will be boring. I don't know how am i going to find the time to practise these hymns. I don't know what to get or say or talk about in next week's prayer session. God Help me please. I don't want to make a fool of myself in front of everybody and most of all you. Sigh. If this is some sort of punishment for my lack of religiousness in the past, im sorry. Somebody just shoot me. Please. RB if you wish to take the first shot go ahead. Argh... Its my first time. Sigh Sigh Sigh. I don't want to imagine next tuesday and the day of the mass. Sigh.



|