It’s a weird feeling. I think I got hit by 3 bugs this week or so. Because there are 2 flu bugs running around and weeming gave me his head spinning virus. ARGH. I have been plagued by illness this week but I have managed to cope well with them I guess. I don’t feel so sick anymore. I have never been hit by 3 bugs at one time before. Its weird. Just weird. Why is my immunity that low? It hasn’t been that low before. I still retain my gruelling schedule and yes I am happy to announce that the play for playhouse is finalised. Who wants to act? Auditions will be coming soon.

I am now sitting before the computer and watching the MTVASIA show on Shania Twain. Its so touching. She lost her parents in her teenage and had to help bring up her family. It gives me hope that people can achieve whatever they want as long as they had the determination to do so. She was fiercely independent and she managed to achieve success by being who she is and not compromising with the societal norms. I feel a kindred spirit in the way that she has managed to preserve her own identity whilst assimilating the best of the rest.

Im now not at home as my parents are in KL and my grandparents are taking care of me now. ( why don’t they ever trust me with anything? ) So I can’t blog much or be online cos my aunt’s online connection is 56K dialup. Sigh. Seems I missed out on an interesting MSN conversation yesterday. Sigh.

Its not been a good time lately. I don’t know why. Something has been eating away at my heart and at my core. I feel dissipated and listless. Pardon me if I look lost. I feel so useless. Such a useless bum am i.

I missed gym this week and why? Don’t ask. I was sick. Sick with anger. Anger at somebody. Not w my gym buddies lardlad or ruinous blue or lunch. I am very very very angry. Elpis got a slight taste of my irritation. Meifen got a dose of my anger. I haven’t peaked yet. I am nearly boiling in infuriation. I could kill or do something rash. I have snapped. Its different from the last time w RB. That was merely exasperated anger. This time, the anger is righteous anger, and its bordering on fury or may I put it, wrath. I am so so so mad at the person that if I see this person I will snap. Mind you my head will fly off. Never has somebody insulted me as such, such that I do not see any more reason to reason it out anymore. If you wish throw such insults at me, be forewarned. I have very little patience with people who impose demands on other people and expect me to clear up the mess that they cannot do so. Worse of all is to impose a sense of tyrannical authority and dictatorial majesty and order me around. If you think you’re so great and mighty, I will show you what’s its like to face me when I am pissed. Don’t ever play mental games w me, u will lose. And I can be merciless and rash. My patience is thinning out lately and its not a general thing. I have sometimes very little patience with certain people, whereas others could murder people and I won’t as much bat an eyelid. Sometime history plays a role. Sometimes its just that I don’t see the need to administer equal and fair patience on the general cohort. I will not type out my reasons for anger on the blog here cos it’s all been sent via sms. So just you wait. I think you are useless. Not me. I have done more things that are worthy of recognition and besides, I don’t trouble my friends with work tt im supposed to do. I hate last minute things and if you think that im going to take ur pushing me around, no im not and I shall not do last minute work. Especially when you expect me to put my own stuff last. My priorities are up to me to decide. NOT YOU. As jon bon jovi sings, ITS MY LIFE. If you don’t like it, suit yourself. Im not going to change it just to accommodate you and your stupid bossy demands. Go F*** off and push drugs.



|