Loneliness is a beautiful feeling especially when you are feeling down and trying to sort your life out. I apologise to all those whom i have poured out my greviances and worries to. Its not fair for me to burden you with my troubles no matter how justified i am in going mad about them. It is now 9.45pm in medsoc room and i have just ended the CSS comissioning mass at Bizad lt 17. It was a nice time when i felt close to God. I felt so warm despite the air conditioning cos He was taking care of me in my woes and sorrows. He helped me wash away my pain and now i feel better and refreshed and more willing to accept life again. The timing of the mass was right as it somehow co-incided with the troubles that are swirling lately. I really enjoyed His presence today and i believe that this experience has made me stronger and i will definitely rise again and gain something from this.

I am sorry for putting so much angst on my blog but if i don't expel it somehow, i will go crazy. Really crazy. It is nearly driving me insane. I am retreating from this world cos of it. Withdrawal symptoms perhaps. And i feel really bad that some of my friends have had to endure less than pleasant moments with me around. If you see me looking normal, friendly and laughing all the time, please remember, i don't want to burden you with my troubles. So, if you want to know what's going on, you can get an idea from my blog or from me if you do notice my occasionaly slips of moodiness. I don't usually talk about whatever that is bothering me unless its really on the verge of making me mad with over-thinking about it. I apologos for thinking too much. I am a happy person, too innocent perhaps and too concerned with others such that i get influenced by the prevailing moods.

Like today. I had to let everything go. 4 straight hours of physical activity to burn myself out and erase all of my anger and frustration. To all those whom i have tried to murder with shuttlecocks, i apologise. I was really all out to vent my frustrations today. Its not that easy to let go at times when you are caught in the middle. Not that i am saying things but its when you are innocent and you get brutally mutilated and murdered, its not a nice feeling to swallow. I am now really tired from swimming and badminton consecutively. Its really nice to see zhu ling before she flies off to uk again. Sigh. when can i get more thorntons? As for FCS. Happy birthday to you although its very very very late that i say this. I am terribly bad with birthdays. especially guy birthdays. Sorry. Really didn't know it was your birthday that day. No wonder u asked me if i visited. I am terribly sorry. I can only wish u happy birthday here and on ur blog. I am so sorry that i forgot.

I don't know what i will be doing on this weekend except that i will go take a look at some floorball sticks and possibly get one. I also intend to get something that i like and possibly a CD compilation. Its time i got into the disco mood again. After all the downs in my life, its the only thing that makes me happy now. I would like to thank a few people for being there when i most needed them this week. In no order of merit, fcs, plhu, shmeen, RB, penance, lardlad, splat, avaris, chor, tch, nov 19, enil, fangz, kp, mx and qy. In one way or another, you made my life these few weeks more bearable and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for your presence and for some of you, a listening ear. It is your great misfortune to have me as a friend and i apologise for your sad fate. I apologise for it.

fangz: maybe we should go back there one day. If you don't mind of course. It seems a very nice place to sit down and chill out. And if you stay late enough, you can have the luxury of taking a stroll down the deserted Orchard Road. Sex on the beach? Heh. Shall have sex on the beach the next time i pop by. Thanks for your advice. Its greatly appreciated as the time when i was out w u was actually quite bad for me. i was just like debilitated from all the crap that was happening already when i got even more rubbish.

red earth: Dragon lady hello! I try my best to. I don't keep everything to myself and i assure you i won't implode. I am still an optimist at heart. I don't intend to let the world burden me with their troubles and bury me with them.

elpis: thanks, same for you too.

ruinous blue/pink: Sometimes i don't know where i get the patience to carry on with whatever i am doing.It must be somebody up there who is comforting me and giving me strength to do what i can and what i must.

TERESA: If you do find my blog as i have told u how to... pls drop a note to say hi ya... hehe



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