陈洁仪

伤心

不经意地问你好不好　故作冷漠又想知道
我们多久没见面了　也许是我在逃

聊一夜往事　感觉还好　为何心中有波涛
忙碌是我们的苦恼　你看　天都亮了

忍不住我一面哭　一面笑　我依然眷恋你的拥抱
曾经我拒绝感情围绕　是无力面对你的好

不论我们怎麽闹　怎麽吵　爱过的谁都无法忘掉
如果我这样就看你走了　一定会伤心到老
(我)一定会伤心到老

I always love Kit Chan songs. As i was driving today morning, this song came out over the radio and it really makes a lovely ride. Her powerful serenading voice really makes it sound so beautiful.

Today is especially significant. It marks the end of playhouse and also it is more significant that usual. I am free to commit my time to other projects and events. First of all, CA!!!! Next is CMS carolling and after that, the slew of birthdays coming up. I also have to help Cow w Christmas Bash and arrange to do help a conference. Besides that, i want to go enjoy myself also. I am being dragged to join something. Ha.

And it is also plhu's birthday. So go wish her happy birthday ya.

I have too high expectations. That is one of my failings.

Anyway, tension is bad. Especially if it is that kind of tension. It feels so dangerous. So naughty. I don't know what the hell is coming over me.

It can't be. Sigh. I have embarked on this road never to return. Goodbye to the person i know. It time to ditch the remaining that is left of me. I am going to mug for the next 2 weeks...

Now i must proceed to COFM. I want to go out but i shall not. Topshop sale ends on October 30th. Most probably there is nothing significant left worthy of purchasing. Never mind. I shall just go get my usual fix from elsewhere then. Wardrobe is rather sparse at the moment. I can't seem to bear wearing my new stuff. Sigh. And it is piling up. Parents aren't happy about that. Cos whatever they bought for me is being returned to them.

Edit:

It struck me yesterday evening how different i was. I have changed almost 2 times over when i left JC. army was 1 change, M1 was another. I am now heading into M2 and i feel that surreal feeling within me again. Somehow something inside is different. Not all changes are positive but they all have a positive side. I don't know why. In part it is due to the friends i mix with and hang around. Many many things cloud my mind and my fingers are eager to type them down. I am not depressed here. Merely saddened that i have to leave a part of myself behind and continue on. In a space of a week, i clarified many issues, some of which were definitely not pleasant but i am happy that it is now over. Not over as in a finality but this chapter can be closed and a new one can begin. It was the last vestiges of many things. Even as i type this, i mourn for the removal of the clothes in my wardrobe. Not cos i liked them terribly, but it is symbolic as they no longer have any representation in my life. They are too big and too old. They were what the old person in me used to be. But now, this statement no longer holds. A lot of things will be thrown out once i am over with the CA. I am going to go IKEA to redecorate my room. Ninz! we must go together! After CA perhaps. The week of playhouse was bad very bad... why? Cos besides CA stress, Playhouse stress and possibly residual anger over various casting issues, there were many problems. I very nearly compromised my own professionality. But in any case, the end of playhouse marks a chapter closed. It was a promise to momo. I said i would write a play for playhouse... and i did. So it ends a chapter of my life. I have learnt a lot this year and i have to thank those who have helped me grow. Thanks so much all of you.



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