Sometimes talking about times past brings back lots of memories. They are incomparably beautiful and always bring a tear to your face. But you know that you will never relive them again. Which is why we all should treasure the memories we all had. Cos i really wish i could have them once again. I feel very very sad now. Very very sad.

There were many memories that i had, many happy, many sad. They all seem distant now. I have tried to forget them. For what reason i do not know. It now seems only yesterday when I was Sec 1 and went into RI scowling. It marked the beginning of a fantastic 4 years where there were many ups and downs. But everybody's memories are undoubtedly precious and worth remembering.

I am feeling down now. Cos of the stress of playhouse, schoolwork, CAs and other unimportant stuff bother me. Most importantly the above 3 that are causing my mood to be very vulnerable to hints and suggestions. After an innocent laughing session w RB and FoA, I feel down. Why? Cos i miss my life back when it was really fun. What did i do then? Waste it all. Waste it all on doing stupid stuff like studying, tuition, and possibly just staying at home and not going out at all. I barely knew anybody. I was just a twitish nerd.

Somethings just don't change. Friends cheat me. Friends abuse me. Friends insulte me. Friends lie to me. Friends take me for granted. I feel like throwing punches and hurl expletives at those who piss me of. Sorry if i sound so anal here. Its just a bad bad day. I didn't get much sleep. I have been having nightmares of late and it is not receding. my stress level is wrecking havoc on my life.

I need to restart my fitness programme. It has been languishing on the planning boards for weeks. After a short trial run i felt so rejuvenated. I shall take this as a vent to channel my anger and my frustration at the way things are going. I am experiencing schizophrenic moods now where one half of me wishes to do something whereas the other is pulling me back in discouragement. I am in half a mind most of the time. Caseous necrosis must be the cause.

I just don't feel right these past few days. Sometimes we all just feel down of the moment. Maybe my patience is running low. Maybe the jokes that are being directing at me has made my patience reach a low ebb. Maybe i am just feeling sick. I didn't even feel like celebrating my recent achievement. This is how down i am. I am in a rut. I am in the dumps. I feel like the walking dead. Can somebody be a Buffy and send me away from this living torture

I just want something to ignite something in me. Will somebody just douse me with kerosene so that something catches fire. I feel so lifeless. Maybe its time for some self reflection. My insecurities are catching up with me. Why am i so stupid that i can't process any information? I think my brain is being fried. I can't seem to put myself down to study. Bah, stupid life. There is so much more that troubles me but i can't blog it. I am just a sad low life. No one tries to help me. But i never asked for help. Sigh. Why must it be like this?



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