Something that is quite amusing. I am going to do a solo for CMS carolling. HA. ME? I think the deaf will be greatly thankful. Well, maybe its the luck that rayzor brought me but i am going to sing Have yourself a merry little christmas, and possibly Chestnuts The christmas song and White Christmas. I hope that i will be able to sing my best though. Don't expect frank sinatra. I am too lousy.

Anyway i would like to comment on a few things that i have put away from commenting of late.

1) I don't know a lot about the emotionless state, but i have experienced it many times, where i feel nothing. It is really shocking in its despair. I have been in this before and it takes a lot before you actually get back your faith in life again. You must enjoy life to the fullest and never regret.

2) There was this post about sports people bullying non sports inclined people. I don't really know what to say about it. It strikes a chord as well, i had ball sense but was unfit so you could say i was still being picked on.I strove to make myself useful and it was until i broke my leg. Its so funny right. Now i might be ok at floorball but well, its not the same anymore.

3) CG groupings. a post struck me. Apparent best friends didn't pair up, leading to feelings of hurt and betrayal. It is to be expected but even as much as we prepare ourselves for the eventuality of rejection, we can never really take the blow of it. It hurts to say no. It is really cruel is it not. To separate us all and force us to choose. Choose between those whom we enjoy ourselves with. With what criteria? Who will we enjoy ourselves more with or those who stay nearer to our homes. I don't know. It has started. These feelings of hurt and betrayal. The time has come to choose.

4) Coping with loss. I don't know how it is like to cope with loss. Loss of a relative, a pet or a friend. I don't really know. It is so hard to bear your own problems that sometimes the rest of the world really seems insignificant. Maybe i just have immense self control that the way i behave makes the life i lead so peaceful and without worries. It is not. I feel happy now trying to make others happy. Feeding off their happiness is the only way that i can avoid my own unhappiness. I don't know why am i doing this but I apologise for it.

I was not in a good mood today and some of you got the short shrift of it. Either by my silence or by my very curt and judgemental and opinionated comments that are reminiscent of the past. I apologise for the loss of tact and i shall hope not to repeat this mistake again. I am exhausted by life.



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