Chinese New Year. I dread this period. Well, the first day is over. And my dread is justified. Tomorrow is the second day and i hope it will be better. Why do i dread it? Cos maybe too many things are being asked and too many undercurrents there are within families. Isn't it sometimes all a farce, when we aren't really happy to see our relatives? Or maybe its the other way round. The feeling might be mutual but i have no idea what caused it. I know certain questions were breached that most probably shouldn't have. But i have no choice. I really have no choice. If i could, I wouldn't want to have it this way. But it can't be helped. I don't know how this year is going to fare. Isn't it really apt, this is the year you become an adult, to start learning about all the stuff that plagues the adult world. Maybe i don't want to be an adult anymore. Maybe i would rather be like my cousins, happily enjoying their own worlds watching the incredibles and playing little fighter. maybe i don't feel anything anymore. I don't want to think about it. It has been harping on me for 1 year and the very 2 things i dread the most appear on the first day. What is the point of celebrating at all when this happens? I just feel very sad, that we all can't live in peace and happiness. Pride is such a thorn in the flesh. It hurts.


我把自己關起來只留下一個陽台
每當天黑推開城門對著夜幕發呆
看著往事　一幕一幕　再次演出你我的愛

我把電視機打開聽著聽著別人的對白
也許那些事情可以給我一個交代
你要的愛　我學不來　
眼睜睜看情變壞　眼睜睜看情感慨

不能給你未來　我還你現在
安靜結束也是另一種對待　當眼淚留下來
傷已超載　分開也是另一種明白

我給你最好的疼愛是手放開
不要一張雙人床中間隔著一片海
感情的污點就留給時間去漂白
把愛收進胸前左邊口袋

最後的疼愛是手放開
不想用言語拉扯所以選擇不責怪
感情就像候車月台　有人走就有人來　
我的心是一個車牌　寫著等待




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