Crisis

1) I really don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. Whatever i am feeling, it is pointing in 3 different directions. Towards the past, facing the present and looking at the future. And now it hurts terribly. The past has resurfaced, the present has been always present and the future remains unknown. Of which i don't know which direction to choose. It has always been the case of when you want something. you can't find it but when you don't want it, it stares at you right in your face. Returning back favours or to let it pass or to let certain things be known? I don't know what to do, really don't know what to do.

2) Faced with a potential landmine and a potential atomic bomb blast the other day. Absolutely baffling. On one hand, the atomic bomb had exploded and had to run to the nearest nuclear shelter and organise the recovery from the fall out. On the other side, the land mine was barely uncovered moments before i nearly stepped on it. I must breathe a sigh of relief. It is absolutely devastating and to be put before a comission, i must say that the land mine is actually more damaging than the hiroshima-nagasaki blast of epidemic proportions.

3) As i was accounting for my lost directions and for my near fatal accidents, i got a slap in my face. A warning unheeded came true as the messages flew in fast and furious. It was a case of not paying attention to warnings and promptings of the heart and now the resultant cleaning service would be yours truly. Had to make a reconaissance trip to observe the mess and the guy who made it happen. Not entirely pleased but well, that what friends are for. Actually that's what cuddlebitches and pseudo-boyfriends are for.

4) In the later part of the afternoon, had a lovely little chat with a lovely little lady. It was most enlightening as she understood and empathised with my situations entirely. But later the conversation did progress towards more interesting topics and it was highly interesting. That is all i have to say at the moment. Since the people discussed were you can say of some special significance to certain people and of hidden significance to some people. But anyway, we sort of discussed the cardinal sins amongst friendship which was deja vu.

5) Finally, I have tried my best to mend the fences but there is no response. If playing the game is what i am accused of, i don't know what would constitute playing the game since only one person played the game out of the 2, by trying to use underhand means and hitting the soft underbelly. And this explanation, coming from somebody who knows the game intimately, going unaccepted makes it all the more harder the swallow. Being ignored is not a nice feeling but well, i guess now the ball is not on my court as i have tried to let things go and make amends. And a card remains empty and unwritten.

Can somebody help?


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