Ha. Surprise. I am back again. It seems that studying in school has a certain effect of blogging associated with it.

Today was another of those days where from the bottom of my heart i felt a tinge of guilt and went down to listen to the weekly evening mass. It was held at PGP and it touched a chord in my heart about being truthful and honest. I have been too truthful and honest at times until it becomes a pain and this makes things very hard for many people. I hoped that my honesty would be acceptable to others but it isn't the case. Such is life, so i shall live with it.

Thinking about many things, especially why i won't talk to somebody about the potential problems we face while working together. Personally, maybe i have given up on him. I see nothing in him worth redeeming and good about that makes me detest him. He didn't come across very nicely and my impression was already tainted in the beginning due to certain things he did. But well, on hindsight, i am too headstrong. I don't know what i should do about it. Leaving it in mid-air makes nothing good and nothing work out. I just don't want to solve this problem i guess. As to why? I don't know.

Thinking again. Why am i unable to say the things i honestly feel sometimes? Why am i unable to make an opinion and stand up for what i believe in? Why can i not say what i want to say? Am i that afraid of conflict at times? No i am not angry at people here nor am i getting all depressed and philosophical again. I was just reflecting on what a joke. I guess it was harmless, but i always think about things too seriously. I just have to relax at times.

I can't let go of certain things easily and patience meters are going way down. It is not a good sign. Must try to prevent this from happening again. I don't like feeling irritated contrary to what most of you think.

had a surprisingly good talk with my junior today. It was nothing short of breathtaking as we managed to talk on many many levels never before reached. I guess behind a cold exterior therein always lies somebody who wants warmth in their lives.

If i were to say the song that is me now, it is Emil Chau's Pa4 Hei1.

如果我說我忍住眼淚　如果我說我不會後悔
在這個夜深人靜的時候　請不要讓我如此心碎
如果我說我忍住傷悲　如果我說我覺得好累
在這個夜深人靜的時候　我只願能與妳緊緊相依相偎

因為我會怕黑　　因為我無法入睡
因為我心中疲憊　因為我厭倦雨打風吹
因為我會怕黑　　因為我覺得意冷心灰
因為我隱藏我的眼淚
請不要讓這一切變成不對　變成不對　 （變成不對）

就在這樣的一個夜?堙@不要把心圍上層層堡壘
就在這樣的一個夜?堙@不要說妳永遠無法體會
就在這樣的一個夜?堙@不要讓疲倦的心再枯萎
就在這樣的一個夜?堙@就讓我說一聲請妳給我安慰

因為我會怕黑　　因為我無法入睡
因為我心中疲憊　因為我厭倦雨打風吹
因為我會怕黑　　因為我覺得意冷心灰
因為我隱藏我的眼淚
請不要讓這一切變成不對　變成不對


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