It strikes me how lonely the medicine library and its surrounding environs can be so despairing, especially when night falls and the place becomes deathly silent save the occasional laughter and conversation. It generates this atmosphere of melancholy and withering that somehow is amplified when the light hits the dark brown brick floor and causes a glaring haloed effect. I guess i have been studying too much in such a gloomy and desolate environment. I don't know why i love that spot where i am sitting now. It is dim, gloomy and maybe lonely but it is windy and airy and the light is right over it. I can feel at home there somehow. It is just a projection of the only child in me. Never really had any one to depend on or count upon when i was young. Just me and the house when my parents were out working. The maid had to do her work. It is such a deep feeling of deja vu and loneliness and in times like this it makes me wonder, is it really that harsh and chilly to be alone? Why do some people seek comfort in others company paranoidly. As in they have a paranoid fear of being alone. Is being alone that hard and harsh a reality that no one is willing to appreciate the beauty of being alone? It maybe be chilly and quiet but that is its beauty ain't it? You can appreciate your independence and your being in the whole world, surrounded by people yet accompanied by none. It is a little of a nihilistic view there but sometimes loneliness is a beauty, for it is when i am alone, then the world seems at peace at last.

Next time if i am angry, i will post whatever i have to say on the other blog. http://naryanenyavilya.blogspot.com

Why? Cos it is not something i want to clog up the normal blog. Thats all.


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