Today was such a busy day. So busy that i even forgot to do certain stuff. Darn. Went to cut hair, prepare a birthday present, do so many things that i forgot to get something. But it is quite unimportant. I can get it anyother day in fact.

I guess i am still on the post exam high where i can't really get down. Cos if i come down the fall will be catastrophic. I don't want to fall down. I don't know but the lump in my throat gets bigger everyday. I just pray for the best. I can't help feeling that maybe this feeling of portending doom is spreading thinly over my head. And if you think that i am makeing this up to attract attention, i would like to say this. FUCK OFF.

The next few days will be quite hectic and stressed for me. I am now busying myself totally cos i don't want to face up to it. That's all that matters for me.

I don't know what am i doing now actually. I don't know if anything is wrong. I don't know anything. I am very very lost. But do i care anymore. No. Why? Cos sometimes i can't help but be selfish. When i care so much for others just to get mud slapped back in my face, one loses faith entirely. My fundamentals are shaken and i don't know if i can ever get the same solidity back. Solidarity. What does it mean anyway? Does it mean anything? Trust? Patience? Empathy? I have lost them all


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