Ok this is a rather belated post which somebody will kill me for but well, i'll still post it anyway.

Yesterday was quite fun cos i spent some time catching up with a few of my friends from JC. Genius NG SHYH CHANG! Our Dear Leader. Haven't seen him for so long. Only been in contact via SMS and now to see the real person is quite amazing. He is still a Genius! Ha, also met up with KJK and i must admit, its a miracle now for us to be standing side by side and not arguing. Well, had a lovely lunch @ Bakerzin with a lovely desert. They are just so temptingly sinful. Must go burn off all those calories. Then we spent sometime browsing around the library before going off to watch the movie Downfall. Will talk about the movie later.

Then later i had the chance to meet up with this friend of mine who just returned from scandinavia. It is always such a joy to meet her. You know, you may not believe it but whenever i meet her, there is always no time to shop. In fact i lose interest in shopping cos her company is so much more enjoyable. So ya, we met at City Hall Raffles City to go try the GSS special at Prego. They are currently having a 1 for 1 offer for the GSS and trust me, it is so worth it. You can either have a pizza or a pasta and the servings are huge and very delicious. And everybody pays only about 14 bucks max. Anyway back to miss chan. Well yes, miss chan was telling me about her life in Scandinavia and you know, during those periods when she was away, it was quite lonely for me cos you see, i shall confess this worst kept secret. I have a soft spot for her, make that a huge soft MOGU cushion. So its always so fun to tease her and to make fun of her all the time. But ya, she teases back too. I can always talk to her about anything under the sun. My soulmate and confidante. Sometimes friendships and miraculously go beyond the ceiling and it turns out being so so much better. Ha, enough faint praise here, cos whatever i can possibly say is never good enough to describe the character of our friendship.

Now onto Downfall. The movie is a very dark one, which sorts of describes the life of Hitler and his associates during the last few days of the 3rd Reich. They remained in the Bunker near the Chancellery and from there you see the descent of Hitler into insanity and delusions of grandeur as he seeks to grapple with the loss of all that he has conquered. The inhumanity and decadence and hedonism that surrounds the life of the National Socialist leadership is also on display, with wanton images of soldiers soliciting women to have fun with them amidst the artillery fire of Berlin and the civilians who are unprotected, raped, murdered, hanged, accused of treason and have their food and water diverted to the military operations. More chilling is Frau Goebbels poisoning of her own children as she does not wish for them to live without Nazi rule.

Also depicted in full glory was the pathetic medical services during those times. You see a horrendous sight of surgeons sawing off people's legs whilst the entire scene is bloddy and there is no anasthetic as the patient is screaming in pain. AND NO, it is not one of those scenes where you only hear an electric saw in the back ground with moans. You literally hear and see this.

Surgeon goes zig zag zig zag across leg of patient. and the typical sawing sound is heard and seen. Not very fast but it certainly is accurate. Patient is screaming as you see the limb being cut off. Ya very graphic, even i can't take it. Can rather accept images of people shooting their brains out and poisoned children. Don't really like the concept of pain and suffering. Especially if your pity goes out to those innocent children and those blameless civilians.

But even more intriguing i must say is this code of honor which leads people to rather commit suicide than to swallow their pride. I mean, when they say die for your country, do you take it literally? Would you rather die than to surrender? What sort of insanity is this? Do you think by blowing your brains out you can preserve your honor and self-worth? This scene particularly struck me.

A few of the high ranking officials were going to meet the Russians to surrender when an official called A passes by this wounded high ranking official called B.

A says to B: " We are going to surrender to the Russians, come along. "

B replies: " Nay, count me out."

* B then takes his pistol and puts it in his mouth and promptly blows his brains out in front of A *

I mean, what the hell is this thing called honor man? Can somebody explain it to me? Why would it be so much better to die a heroic/cowardly death than to go on with life? Is the prospect of Russian rule so torturous or are they just afraid to face up to the consequences of their actions?

Call me a wimp but i don't really endorse the notion of pain and suffering, but if given a choice between pain and certain death, i'll take pain anyday. Why do people want to kill themselves? Is there no more hope in this world? What could possibly precipitate the cowardly way of choosing how life should be ended? I don't really quite get this notion of honor, do they teach you that in BMT, SISPEC or OCS? Well, maybe let's rephrase it, do they expect that from you in BMT, SISPEC and OCS. Is pride that hard to swallow and punishment that hard to face? Or would any military expect you to take your own life instead of surrendering to the enemy? Really freaky isn't it, this idea of honor in suicide and the vainglorious notion of dying for a cause? Not that the Nazi cause was anything good but everything can always be judged from different perspectives. So if Singapore ever goes to war, am i expected to die for my country? Or live to rebuild it? What would an Officer choose? What would a Sergeant choose? What would any men choose? What would the women and children choose? What would you, the reader choose?


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