latte: thanks but I think my life can be more fulfilling. Not in the materialistic sense but more in the intangible sense. It is quite empty actually and Prada or Hermes can only do so much to fill up that gap. Kind of empty lately, cos maybe of other events that have taken place recently. Makes me feel rather hollow and listless. Even my normal activities have yet to cheer me up. From the looks of it, i seem to be having cancer. Loss of Weight, Loss of Appetite, Generalised Weakness, Chronic Fatigue etc.

Anyway, let's just say that life is plodding on slowly. I am tired. I think i aged a lot in 6 weeks. My close friends know it, and not all of them know. Only a few do. I think now it all means nothing. Come to think of it, it now has all come to naught. Silly isn't it. Some things came so fast and dissolve so fast. It went as fast as it came and I don't know how to put one and one together. How could i not see the start of this unravelling? It is quite amazing actually. That, one could not see it happen. But often when they say that the external observer is able to see things the clearest, that is why judges are in charge of the law.

My forgiveness is my biggest flaw. Forgiven too many times and now maybe i have decided to harden. Not that i don't forgive but it takes 2 hands to clap. I have forgiven and i shall leave, since leaving is the best thing in this moment and i guess to the best intent i shall also leave forever. I guess my help is always there if the need arises but i have decided that the decision i made a year ago on the millenium bridge is now was a wrong one but i still go by my gut feeling that it was right all along. Well, it is my choice and of course i will defend it. But now this belief is shaken to its core. And so is my faith in friendship.


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