I am so so tired. New year's eve was a blast, partying away from 6 to 6.

Anyway, today has been one of the most screwy days in my new year, not much comparison but i have never felt so shitty before. Enough talking about it. Its going to be a new day soon.

My fire is gone. Somebody mentioned it to me and i dismissed it, now what i look back, where was the firebrand? He is tamed and no longer can argue. How do I resuscitate him? Do I have a stone table from which to rise again with the sunrise?

I don't know really, some things are very hard to swallow, especially my pride and ego. I am still pissed with you-know-who. And in all honesty, I don't know why. There might have been an offending cause but the reaction is way too much as compared to the instigating incident. What is happening to me? Why am I treating uhhmm like that? I have already sensed that I feel and behave differently from the start of last year, and I am not able to come to terms with it. I am a monster.

Just die la george just die la.


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