This is quite pushing the limit. I don't know why but one of my second cousins is getting married in malaysia. And i am freaked out by the news. Its not a shotgun or anything but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


anyway, i just feel really tired. Its been so tiring since CHP non-stop. I mean, all the highs and lows cannot mask my tiredness. I am quite tired of life especially. And also, silence is golden.


In case you were wondering about the long long post on criticism below, yes it is meant to criticise somebody who deals out criticism but you can say that now i am just highly disappointed. I know i should let go, but how do i do so when the double standards do not end and the criticism does not abate? It really sucks and the behaviour is despicable. The words hate and despise is quite apt to describe the bitter taste in my mouth.


I forgive all the time but time and time again incidents serve to remind one that maybe fogiveness is not shared by all. I cannot stand mistreatment and abuse, not when i am slandered and debased all the time. I feel like quitting in all honesty. I just want to work peace and harmony, instead i get shit thrown into my face, why, because other people have their own agenda and choose to mask it behind noble objectives.


Whats wrong with accusing the group leader of irresponsibility when he or she is sick and the accuser is desperate to study for exam? Nothing right? the group leader must do everything, and when the report is not done at the last minute because nobody is helping the leader, its the leader's fault, cos the others need to study. And finding noble reasons to hide such an agenda behind, is so marvellous isn't it. The leader is an idiot who does work that others order him to do.


After the CHP feedback session is over, there is no need to work so hard already right? After all, getting into good books is what matters, work is secondary once the marks are settled. So can throw dump all work to the group leader and leave the leader to sink is it? And better at that, give the group leader a bad mark after making him do most of the work right? Cos the group leader is irresponsible, and it was shouted out from the mountain top.


Inexperience, its still can be swallowed. Irresponsible. I am sorry, I can't take that lying down. Not when i had to put up with so much flak and irresponsibility from others. Not when I have to do more than my quota to make up for the insbility in another group to reach their quota. What did i do that for? Friendship? Well, i am a fool ain't i, for what i got back was ingratitude and a hamper of shit. by the way, that is just one incident of many. Being used is more like it. And people ask me why i look tired, i aged a lot in CHP.


Sometimes, i wish i never had such a friend.


*punches punching bag* *punches punching bag* *punches punches punches punches punches ............*


|